I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
