thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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