You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
