Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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