The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it because I queefed?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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