ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
