....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
did you just send me my own nude
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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