You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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