I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
