There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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