There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
