our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize