it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize