Your tits are I can't wait for
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
