just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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