Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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