Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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