Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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