I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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