So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
