OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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