i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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