Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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