Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
