Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
it hurts more in the daytime
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
