I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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