She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
