I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize