this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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