worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
