I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Non-Jews are for practice
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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