a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
