If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
