Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
