Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
