That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
