I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
