Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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