I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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