I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
