have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize