Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
