Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
