Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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