They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
