I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
