my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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