Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
