we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
