I just threw up on my dentist
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize