i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
