they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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