Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
