Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
