We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize