I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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