I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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