I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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